Can you handle true authenticity? Are you willing to be called out? Can you say to the world “I messed up”? Do you project how you truthfully feel? Will you admit…just about anything?
For many people, the answer is NO. But that is what Authenticity is about..for me. You either ARE authentic, or you are not.
It’s like trying to say you are just a ‘little’ pregnant.
So, are you ready? Do you want to know what authenticity is all about? Read on…
Before I begin, I must say this post has been inspired, and STRONGLY encouraged by genuine friends in my life who have seen and believe my authenticity. It is to them, I dedicate this post.
I’m very adamant about this subject because lately there is a lot of BS about ‘being authentic’ and ‘vulnerable’ and in my mind, it’s just a new way for people to market themselves. It’s the new ‘buzz-word’.
You can’t all of a sudden BE authentic, you have to LIVE it. You need to genuinely take action and ownership until you get to that state. Until then, you are fooling yourself and everyone around you.
I hope you get that. The reason I say most are fooling themselves about being ‘authentic’ is because they try & skip the steps of truly discovering their soul, identifying and showing their vulnerability and finally taking true ownership of it all; the good, bad and the ugly. Philip McKernan brought this to my attention and it was he who helped me admit to myself.
So am I the real deal or is this just another well written marketing piece? (well I don’t know about well written – lol)
THE PROOF
If you want vulnerability and authenticity, give me an hour of your time. I say that because it’s very hard for me to write my passion, and my true acknowledgment on a digital forum. You have to SEE it. You will get direct answers from me; ask anyone who has already been there with me. And by the way, if you DO feel I’m bullshitting you, I expect you to call me on it.
Vulnerability is about respectfully not caring what people think. I am not rude to people, I just don’t feel the need to pretend anything. (I’ll save the ‘pretenders’ for another post)
I am in complete ownership of who I am and the people who take offense are the ones I don’t want to deal with in the first place – most of whom already and will continue to exit my life.
This is an important part of ownership. You really cannot please everyone, everywhere and the more you try the LESS authentic you become. Let me put it another way – If you are NOT offending someone, somewhere, you are probably not being authentic; it’s just the way the world works.
HERE’S MY OWNERSHIP
Every day I try to be as nice to people as possible, NOT because I’m faking it, it’s because I truly feel and want to be that way – it makes ME feel absolutely fantastic without expectations. And here’s why:
It’s because I was an A**hole for most of my life.
That’s it…that’s the truth and and HUGE part of my ownership. Once I admitted that, there’s nothing anyone can say I already haven’t.
HOW was I an A-Hole? Without writing a book here, I mainly always had something to prove to others, to always be right never taking accountability. I treated the ones closest to me the worst you can imagine. I steam-rolled over everyone and even though I was successful in my music career, it caught up.
So what I did was not ‘change’ who I really am, I just basically took accountability for my life – and this experience helps my authenticity even further, because I’m not afraid of what people think.
I WAS afraid, even up to when I joined REIN trying to dismiss twenty years of my life in the music industry so I would no be associated with it at all – the negativity both from my attitude and the industry was something I wanted private – I was trying to re-invent myself. But why?
I realized, there is no reason to re-invent. I am a great person and the more I gravitated to people who were genuine, the more I was able to change my way of LIVING.
LIFE’S ARCHIVES
This year I will be adding another level to my passion for helping others; I will draw on all my life archives, what I have accomplished and how I have changed from the person then into the person I am today.
My first opportunity for this will be April 30, 2011 at the Toronto Property Show hosted by Brian Persaud of Inside Toronto Real Estate. If you want to see how authenticity works in your life and how it will affect your Real Estate business, make sure you are there. It will be one of the most truthful seminars you will experience. Motivation, mind-set and planning for success. More details to follow!!!
I’ll end by sincerely thanking everyone in my ‘inner circle’ for their support and encouragement to write this – there are too many to list, but they know who they are. I am so grateful for these new opportunities to change people’s lives.
CAN YOU HELP?
If you want to peer more into my authenticity, please let me know by commenting below – I will continue to write more about how vulnerability and authenticity completely changed my life and give you a pre-lude to the Property Show seminar!
Dude! This was SO refreshing! The transparency and honesty of this blog will surely vibe with anyone who reads it. Last night I took this approach for the first time in front of a group of real estate pro's I was as honest as possible and was completely real and it felt so friggin' amazing! Nothing to hide or be ashamed of and was just completely me. And I think they really appreciated and honoured that fact. Thanks for this amazing post!
Oliver thanks man! This was REALLY hard to LIMIT as you know how much I can speak about. I know for a fact people wanting to do business with you are so appreciative of honesty, because they are not used to it. I know exactly how you feel when you can just be real. Even though I had to take accountability for my attitude and personal relations in my life, I was and still am completely honest with business. It truthfully is because my worst fear is someone coming back to me saying "you never told me this". I'd rather not deal with someone after telling them the 'truth' than convince them just to make a sale.
Joey, I recently realized that some moments or periods in our lives that we wish to forget must be remembered in gratitude because it ends up creating a space for growth, a point in time that allows us to measure it for the purpose of knowing that we are moving in a place that we prefer to BE. I am grateful that you were an ” A hole” although I did not know you then it makes who you are TODAY, a person that lives by values and is not afraid to show them! Your inspiration is contagious! You ROCK!
Diane, this is the most profound statement you have ever made – you really get it. The only reason I placed one word to describe my life before now was to make the impact of how much I have changed into the person I am TODAY…thank you for realizing this. It really comes down to how I treated people before and being selfish. As you know first hand, I am all about helping others and sharing my knowledge. I choose to live this way because it's REALLY a great place to be.
Great post, Joey! You are an onion, peeling back the layers. Thank you for sharing.
Aneta I appreciate the support, I've been telling stories here and there to different groups and all of them have encouraged me to say more about my experiences. With that, there has to be some accountability which is something I avoided for a long time. At the end of the day, I am in such a different place now and as Philip told us – vulnerability is key.
Very nice post, Joey! I agree that "authenticity" has become quite the buzz word over the past couple of years. One of my favorite people who talk on this topic is Bob Burg, author of The Go-Giver, and he often says you can't be taught to be more authentic…you just do it by being yourself…and most importantly, it's not ok to be an authentic "a-hole"… .if you're an "a-hole" change! LOL!
Thanks again for sharing!
Great reply Shae! I know you are absolutely right because that is the shift I had to make twenty years ago. This post is difficult to condense without telling the whole story, but the reality is that I made the decision to change my life long ago and today the results are proof. This was just to share with everyone how it is to be truly authentic in my view. Thank you for all your support this far and I am so looking forward to working with you!!
Hi Joe!
Just read the article/post about the RRSP/MER trap. I too realized it wasn't to our advantage, about 4 yrs back when I left my job to stay home. I left the money I had in my RRSPs and wanted to see what really happens to it, putting it in the least fee possible, changing it twice over the past 4 yrs I think. Well, I started with $32k in it and its down to about $28k I think, now. And of course the return shown is in +ve … 🙂 so its mainly all been lost to the fees.
I would be eager to hear/learn about what option you suggest for the same.
Thanks
R Arora
Joey,
You are a straight shooter.
It was very refreshing to read your post.
Too often, people are affraid to be themselves.
I appreciate your sincere nature.
All the best,
Neil.
Hi Neil, telling it like it is, is how I like to live – it's much easier than pretending and trying to 'fit'. I value and appreciate your words of encouragement! Thanks!!!
Hi Joey,
Thanks for putting it out there. I, too, was an a**hole for too long a time( still am occasionally, hopefully on a much reduced level ).
Recognizing that has allowed me to accept much greater tolerance of the world in general. Like you say, "I could write a book". Hmmmm…gotta go, feeling some inspiration trying to get in!
To your continued success!
Jim, I appreciate you replying to this post and admitting how you were. I had a long conversation about this particular post to a good friend tonight and I told her how hard it was to actually explain everything about how my life changed from one extreme to another in this short blog. I am gearing up to explain further live at my seminar so people can really understand the shift. I certainly don't want to suggest I was THAT bad, but I needed to sum it up in one word and that was it! I'm so glad you are inspired and thank you for your words and support! I send the well wishes of success back to you!
Hey Joey! This is a great post. I had to laugh though. Dave's going through the Authority Formula and I was in the room when one of the modules was playing. I decided there should be a new drinking game called "Every time Greg says authentic or authenticity you have to drink!!". So the title of your post made me think of that.
I have a hard time envisioning you as a jerk but then again I haven't even met you yet!! 🙂
Congrats on stepping up and being who you want to be. And congrats on your event at the Property Show. I might be out for the show but even if I am not I'm supporting you 100%%!! I know you'll rock it.
Now that's funny…I didn't realize Dave was on the inside of TAF, he should look me up in the community there – we just graduated btw :D. Well, this post is hard to actually describe what I used to be like without getting into a whole story – but basically, I always had great morals and never screwed people, it was more disrespect and as someone this week put it – arrogant. Admitting that is definitely growth and I owe everything to one ex-girlfriend who changed my life at 25 yrs old making me into the person I am today – 20 years later I found her and was able to tell her that specifically – if it wasn't for you…that's the real story and one I hope to touch on at the Property Show. Finding who you are is hard with most people. Admitting and doing something about it is a whole other level! I would LOVE to have you out there personally but understand if you can't – either way I'll be proud to know you are 100% behind me – thank you Julie!!! (and drunk Dave)