I wanted to share with you something I’ve discovered during the past year coaching people in their businesses … and I’ve been referencing this enlightened view more and more each time I meet or talk to new entrepreneurs, because it sets the foundation for them to press forward through the hard times.
The “discovery” is that a successful business, more money, better relationships – both personal and business is NOT what we we want…it is just the EXPRESSION of what we REALLY desire.
Over the past year, in my MasterMinds and one on one coaching calls, I’ve noticed a ‘shift’ in people after I constantly “dig” for the true meaning of them being here.
Now before you think this is a “woo-woo” type of post…
I believe what you’re about to discover
will change the way you think forever.
John Assaraf once asked me “what are you willing to trade your life for?” This profound question has more meaning than most see, and it still makes me tear up every time I “place” myself back in that feeling the moment he asked me that.
It literally changed my life so I started asking clients the same question…over and over and over again.
I ask you to think about that question for a moment now. I’ll also ask you if you agree on what I believe it means: every day we’re making a ‘choice’ to do or NOT do something. ARE those choices “in line” with who you are and what makes you happy?
To help you further envision how powerful this one question is, I’ll reference a technique I learned from Stephen Covey:
“Begin with the end in mind”
Think ahead to a few moments before your own death; will you be completely satisfied with how and what you ‘traded’ your life for?
I can say with great confidence that most people would not be satisfied at all, and if they’re being truthful to themselves, would be regretting a LOT! I too, was one of those people. Heck, I still am on certain days. But what sets me back on path is asking myself that one question: “is this worth trading my life?”
Even though I ‘thought’ I had my shit together when John asked me that, it STILL made an impact on me I will never forget. It made my life purpose of helping other entrepreneurs even more meaningful.
It challenged me to question “why I’m doing this” and to ensure I was NOT fooling myself just because I could have a ‘successful coaching business’ that meant making money and only money.
What I do every day, fills my heart and soul – I KNOW exactly why I buy Real Estate, and why I spend most of my time coaching others to help them – more importantly, I am so cool with knowing how it fits into my bigger purpose. And yes, I’m OK trading the parts of my life for helping others – I’m OK with trading the parts of my life I laugh and play with my family….
Even if you’ve heard the “why are you doing it” speech before, if what you’re doing doesn’t align with your TRUE inner values, you’re screwed.
The more overworked, stressed, confused someone is, the more it tells me they have a constant internal battle going on that puts their values up against their decisions and habits.
Almost all of the people I’ve coached over this past year started by walking around in a “fog” they needed to be ‘cleared’. They’ve come looking for some sort of ‘fulfillment’ which is a better business, a balanced life or whatever that is…
The Truth Is…
They can have that fulfillment right now….today because it’s available if you choose to do so.
I’ve learned to help them see that the most successful, happy, balanced people in the world are that way because each day they make decisions that are in-line with their inner values. They’ve released the outer-world expression of success, money and so on to live by those internal rules first.
This has tremendously helped me and it’s exponentially helped my clients – because asking the basic questions: “is that making you happy?” “are you prepared to accept the results of today’s ‘trade’?” refocus their decisions and ultimately stops them from blaming everyone and everything but themselves.
As an example, a client who believed he wanted MORE money, clients, deals etc discovered that what he REALLY wanted was “to be in control” of his life and “just be happy every day.” So now, what he does always relays back to that – “is getting up at 6am making YOU happy? Yea? Great!”
That’s the REAL truth, so in making decisions to step outside the comfort zone, to get more JV partners and so on, once it’s attached to that underlying drive…EVERYTHING changes. You start doing things for YOU – not for or because of someone else!
I’ll bet if you ask him, he is now happy what he is ‘trading his life’ for.
Jo
Thanks for the insights.
Many of us get initially into property for the "money" But I would ask: when you are truly wealthy, when you have all the money that you need, what is your life going to be about – above and beyond the money?
Remember money is just a power that amplifies your ability to live your life to its real purpose. It’s no use just chasing money, so what is your vision for your life? What is your purpose? What are your values you will strive to live in accordance with?
That will bring meaning to what you do
Great insight Michael! I hope I communicated what you just said 'in-between' the lines 🙂 – I truly have meaning to what I'm doing – I'm not chasing money at all – in fact, that's what I help my coaching clients AVOID 🙂 by changing their mindset.
When I think about the impact my personal coaching has on my clients … and even the FREE consultations I constantly do, it's indescribable how that makes me feel – it aligns with my purpose. When it comes to Real Estate, it's a foundational wealth vehicle that is for my children. That realization/decision has led me to an chaos free way of life when it comes to chasing properties for "today" cash flow. That means I can concentrate on my love to coach other people for my living right now & sharing what I've learned over my lifetime. BUT, at the same time, I don't chase any money here either because that would add more stress & chaos if I'm working with people that believe what I believe, believe in what I do or respect me or themselves to commit to a deserved future of wealth through gradual, fulfilling change.
With all the money in the world Michael, I will continue to coach, mentor and help others discover their true self – I ask myself that every day – and the answer is always yes.
That's just one part of who I am and why I do what I do and I'm sure that my values will change over time. Today, they are: me (doing things that make me happy first) my business (which includes 5 core values of achievement, independence, authenticity, , celebrity, competence), my family which as you can see is NOT first on the list like most others would say. I'm not sure people who say their family is first actual LIVE by those values, but I realized a long time ago that my family and even ME were waaaay down the list. Since that time, I've made a conscious effort to move them up by choosing to build a business that I'm passionate about instead of a job. I admit that I still make some choices over them, but I'd be lying and pretending to be someone I'm not if I didn't be as real as I can with this short answer.
I could go on and on about my 'vision' or 'belize' but I digress – hopefully I've given you a 'peak' into my soul.
How about you Michael? What are your values and what will change when you have the money you want to do?